Category Archives: Psychology
For healing: hypnosis or de-hypnosis?
“All healing is essentially the release from fear.”
Hypnosis can be a powerful tool for good — or for ill. Hypnotic suggestions program your mind, which is essentially the hard drive of your body computer. We have all been programmed to believe what we believe, to see ourselves and the world as we do.
Some love the color red; others hate it. Some love dogs; others fear them. When we came from the womb, we were simply open and receptive; fear has hypnotized us all and imprinted us all with different programs.
Fear is an especially effective means of hypnosis. A trained hypnotist might suddenly push you off balance or clap loudly next to your head… for he has learned that fear puts the subject into a trance of shock. Once in trance, suggestions can be made that will go deep into the mind.
Someone may be an excellent hypnotist and have the best of intentions, yet not know what you personally need. Only you know. Only that part of you that is below the conscious mind knows what you have been through and what you need to hear to heal the past.
This is why I recommend de-hypnosis. We need to be de-hypnotized from all the trauma we have known — from our creation until the present. Once all the trauma is gone, we are naturally restored to our innate peace of mind, joy and unconditional love.
When you are very relaxed, your own inner wisdom can show or tell you what you need to know to heal your life. It works every time. It is very efficient. It never harms.
A place of feeling good
Don’t do anything that
you don’t really want to do.
Keep yourself in a place of feeling good.
Reach for the thought that feels better —
and watch what happens.
According to Abraham-Hicks, it is in the place of “feeling good” where grace occurs. A Course In Miracles would say that we have only two emotions: love and fear — and that love would be the place of “feeling good” and fear would be feeling less than love, anything less than comfortable.
“Pain is inevitable but suffering is optional.”
To have a human body means you will encounter pain — you will stub your toe or bump your head or experience any number of things that distract you from feeling good. But to dwell on the pain and remain in the pain, to bring yourself back to the pain over and over again in your mind is abuse, self-abuse. And it is obvious that we all want to feel good.
The ultimate in mental gymnastics is that masochists are masochistic because they claim they feel good when they hurt — “It hurts so good.” Not really. They are hoping for a breakthrough, a release, a transcendence from pain into love.
So now we can decide — coming back to the quote at the top of this post — to not do those things we don’t want to do or to not feel the feelings we don’t like to feel. Knowing we have an option, we may become determined to learn to release, let go, feel good in any circumstance. We learn to surf the waves of emotion, to walk on water, so to speak.
Imagine the implication for our world. Nobody would be following in the footsteps of Job… yet everyone would be helpful, because that is the nature of love. The world as we know it would change in a twinkling.
The importance of reclaiming the feeling that feels good jives with everything I’ve learned and have personally experienced. A Course In Miracles calls it love or forgiveness or releasing fear, Dr. Hew Len of ho’oponopono calls it cleaning. He makes it clear that cleaning is an ongoing activity. Mary Baker Eddy says, “God is Love… God is the work of eternity, and demands absolute consecration of thought, energy, and desire.” Our real job, our real work, is to reclaim our fundamental nature, which is pure, unconditional love.
Observing the judgmental voice between the ears, clearing, releasing, letting it go… getting back to “zero” or “neutral” or “feeling good”… that is our work and that is our fate, because since only love truly exists forever, our return to it is inevitable. Knowledge is the “know how” of how to go directly to the love that we are.
*From the workshop in Boston, MA on Sunday, October 10th, 1999 #563. This quote and much more at Abraham-Hicks Publications
Genital cutting tied to later abuse risk
And remember, dear friends… anything that affects a female who has been cut surely will affect a cut male as well. Trauma is trauma. And the worst part of circumcision is not the physical cut, but the psychological repercussions. Spare the child and he or she will grow up to be far more peaceful, trusting, happy than someone who has been grievously injured unnecessarily due to fashion, superstition or any other adult fear.
By Amy Norton, Reuters
September 24, 2012
NEW YORK (Reuters Health) – Women who underwent genital cutting as young girls may be at increased risk of physical, sexual or emotional abuse from their husband, a study of women in Mali suggests.
The study, of nearly 7,900 women, found that 22 percent of those with genital mutilation said they’d been physically abused by a husband or male partner. That compared with 12 percent of women who’d never been subjected to the procedure.
It’s estimated that more than 130 million women worldwide have undergone genital mutilation, also known as female “circumcision.” The centuries-old practice, which involves removing part or all of a girl’s clitoris and labia, and sometimes narrowing the vaginal opening, remains a common practice in some countries, mainly in sub-Saharan Africa.
It’s well-known that genital cutting has long-term consequences for women – including sexual dysfunction, childbirth complications, incontinence and psychological disorders.
In the new study, researchers looked at whether there’s a link between genital mutilation and a woman’s odds of suffering abuse from her partner.
In Mali, where the vast majority of women have undergone genital mutilation, the government has taken steps to raise awareness of the consequences of the practice. But genital mutilation has not been outlawed.
The difficulty is that genital cutting is widely seen as an important cultural tradition, rather than a form of abuse.
“If something is entrenched in a culture, it is difficult to change,” said Dr. Hamisu Salihu of the University of South Florida in Tampa, the lead researcher on the new study.
On the other hand, physically abusing your wife – though common in Mali and other African countries – does not have that cultural acceptance, Salihu told Reuters Health…
READ MORE: YAHOO! Health
SOURCE: BJOG: An International Journal of Obstetrics and Gynaecology, online August 24, 2012
Depression is not irrational – Suicide is not a solution
I was depressed from an early age. As a child, I always wanted to be dead. I know now that it was probably after my clitoridectomy. I was bereft. Life didn’t seem worth living. I went to the kitchen to get a knife to cut out my heart, but I was too small to reach the sharp knives – I didn’t even know where they were kept.
When I went back to my bed that night, I heard a voice say, “What makes you think it would be any different if you were to die?” I had to admit I had no guarantee. But I saw the implication was that I would have to live through those early childhood years again – no way! – and so I have stayed. My teen years and early twenties were no better. But after that, each year my heart has grown more full and rich and happy. I have no external possessions to brag about, but peace of mind and joy are my priceless treasures.
Depression is not irrational. It is a diagnosis that is like that drawer in the kitchen where you put everything you don’t know what to do with. Depression is an accumulation of legitimate, but unreleased fears, angers and sorrows. Our society does not allow grieving and does not offer anything much better than “you are born, life is for suffering, technology advances, and then you die.”. Religion often makes life on earth sound like a prison sentence, a valley of tears, after which – if you are perfect – you get to go to “heaven” and experience something that might or might not be all that much better than what you have known on earth… but there are no guarantees on any level.
What finally brought me out of my depression was the discovery that when I was very very quiet, I could feel my heart.
“In the midst of winter, I found there was, within me, an invincible summer… no matter how hard the world pushes against me, within me, there’s something stronger – something better, pushing right back.” ― Albert Camus
Another way to say that is, “The Kingdom of Heaven is within you.” It is! And it can be known NOW. But only one thing can exist in one place at one time, so as long as we hold on to negative feelings from the past, we do not feel that beauty that already exists in our own hearts.
I came to understand that I had something important to do here on planet earth. Until I released all that old baggage, I might just come back over and over again – no way! And so I began to do my work and began to let go of all that old and ugly stuff.
We are fortunate in this age to have lots of help – from people and healing systems like Jed Diamond, Byron Katie’s “The Work”, Gary Craig’s “EFT – Emotional Freedom Technique”, Hale Dwoskin’s “The Sedona Method”, and many others. It’s all about healing – letting go of fear/anger/sorrow. It’s why we’re here and why “stuff happens” – so that we feel the old stuff and release the past – to “forgive”, which is “for giving ourselves peace of mind, joy and health.” Feelings got stuck when we held our breath in fear. So whatever feelings come up, breathe into them… that’s how we tell ourselves that we’re safe here and now.
See the “Tools” tab, above and release one little thing today, here and now. You will be so glad you did. Then move to another… and let it go…
EFT – Emotional Freedom Technique
Until you make the unconscious conscious,
it will direct your life and you will call it fate.
– Carl Jung
All healing is essentially the release from fear.
– A Course In Miracles
Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT), also called “Tapping”, does exactly what it says: it is a simple, easy way to release fear. It is a deceptively simple, yet effective tool for healing the mind, emotions and even the body.
To keep it simple, let’s call everything that is not at ease and peaceful, “fear”. Pain and dis-ease indicate a lack of ease, a lack of peace, and we can often track disease to its origin in fear.
We react to fear by contracting muscles in our body; we fight, flee or freeze. Synonyms for “fear” might include shock, terror, horror, dread, panic, anxiety, anger, rage, fury, sorrow, grief, angst, overwhelm, boredom, loss, frustration, irritability, loneliness, broken heart, longing, desire, jealousy, regret, envy, revenge, or any other feeling that is not peaceful and loving. Fear enters the mind, the body reacts by contracting. After that, if the fear is not released, it remains lodged in the muscles and even the cells of the body.
“Fear” is not our original condition – love is. Look into the eyes of any baby who was gently born and not circumcised and you will see eyes overflowing with unconditional love, aliveness, enthusiasm, and joy. Babies who have not been terrorized by intrusive medical procedures, drugs and scalpels, are relaxed. They can fall to sleep in a moment, no matter where they are or what is going on.
Yet a baby who was poked by sonogram, whose birth was medically induced, who was cut out or pulled out of his mothers, whose umbilical cord lifeline to mother was cut before he had downloaded his full allotment of oxygen and blood, who had monitoring devices attached to his head and body, a baby who was separated from his mother at birth and fed cow’s milk, not breastfed, a baby who was exposed to any number of unnecessary procedures such as blinding lights, heel pricks, injections of toxic chemicals into his pristine bloodstream, a baby who had surgery such as circumcision or open heart surgery… This baby, on the other hand, had a head start in the accumulation of fear. He learned to contract and withdraw, to distrust and expect betrayal.
After birth, fear messages are sent directly and indirectly, intentionally and unintentionally, from family members, friends, school, religion, television, movies, society; we make decisions based on things that happen to us and to others, etc and we carry all this fear forever – on our shoulders, in our stomachs or chests – until and unless we let it all go. We carry unconscious fear in the subconscious and the subconscious is the body. Muscles we tensed up long ago when terrible things happened, still hold the tension. They are the spots where we feel pain, tension, weakness. The good news is, we can let it all go and EFT is a very helpful tool in releasing fear. Letting go of fear is letting go of tension in the body and most disorders, disease, are caused by stored fear, tension.
Emotional Freedom Technique is the most effective way I’ve found to quickly and easily loosen and release uncomfortable bodily sensations from the mind and body – both ancient and current.
EFT is also called “tapping”, and you will be tapping on acupressure points to relax the inner organs that have been holding the “fear” you want to be free of.
Steps for using EFT to release fear:
1) Identify a feeling or attitude that causes you discomfort, a “fear” you want to release. Put it into words. If you cannot find a descriptor for it, just identify it by its location in the body. Examples might be: sense of anxiety, pain in my stomach, tension in my shoulders, anger at my mother.
2) Give it an intensity score. Zero means it does not bother you at all, ten means it is very much present, in your current awareness, and is occupying your mind and giving you pain and discomfort at this very moment. The goal is to use EFT until the intensity is gone and the score moves to zero.
3) Make it into a statement:
Even though I have this
[pain in my stomach],
I deeply and completely love and respect myself.
This statement serves a few purposes:
- Naming the emotion or locating a feeling in the body is an important step in letting it go, for you are no longer unaware of it – you are now conscious of it. You have given the “demon” a name.
- You can only release something that you already “have”. If you are unaware of a feeling, then you do not “have” it; it “has” you. But once you have it, you can release it.
- “Even though” minimizes the importance of the “fear” you have named. It says that this “thing” that has been burdening you for a very long time is now inconsequential and you are ready to let it go.
- To say that you love and respect yourself, even though you have carried this feeling, is a way of saying that you forgive yourself and love yourself enough to live without the burden.
4) The simplest way to perform this “exorcism” on yourself is to repeat the statement in #3, above, and tap 8-10 times on each acupressure point (see diagrams below). Some start by tapping on the side of one hand (karote chop point, in diagram below), using the palm of the other hand, and repeating the statement a few times, adjusting it for accuracy, if necessary. Then, starting at the top of your head, tap each point several times while repeating the statement. Some people shorten the statement after a few repetitions to the ‘complaint’, such as:
Even though I have this [sense of guilt], I deeply and completely love and respect myself…
Even though I have this sorrow, I deeply and completely love and respect myself…
Even though I have this sorrow, I deeply and completely love and respect myself…
this sorrow… this sorrow… this sorrow…” – concluding with,
Even though I have this sorrow, I deeply and completely love and respect myself.
Here are two helpful sheets that you can access at any time from your phone or computer to remind you of how to use EFT:
Emergency measures for PTSD
Trauma happens. Daily. To many. Those of us who have been suddenly exposed to terror, horror and shock, those of us who have lived in it for extended periods of time, all of us suffer at least some degree of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD).
Sufferers of PTSD — even veterans — are not always correctly diagnosed and are even more often not treated. However, those who do receive attention do not always reap sufficient benefit from conventional treatment.
Sometimes it takes a child to say what no adult will — the emperor has no clothes and the medical field has no cure for PTSD. The conventional mental health system offers diagnoses and medications, but the mere labeling and numbing of symptoms does not equate to genuine healing. Terror and horror persist in the hearts and minds of victims and witnesses, both. The good news is,
All healing is essentially the release from fear.
Healing is always certain.
We can do it ourselves. Fact is, we must. No one else can do it for us; they don’t know what we have been through. Here is where we start. Here is where we learn to release the fear that has tied our minds and bodies into knots. Here is where we learn how to let go of fear.
We learn the principles of self-healing. We practice with ourselves and one another. We address one memory, one pain, one tense muscle at a time. Soon we are free of the shudder, the revulsion, the horror, the past. We feel real peace again. We have taken back our lives.
Search on the Internet for videos on “Emotional Freedom Technique” (EFT) or “Tapping” (they’re the same thing, just different names. This simple yet profoundly effective method of releasing fear might come in handy as you are reading, learning, practicing, identifying issues, and releasing them. Get this helpful stress-release tool under your belt and then scour and devour the rest of the healing methods here on this site. Any one of them might be enough to heal all your wounds. But one might “speak to” you more than another. Try them all.
As we release fear, we feel safer; as we feel safer, others will feel safer around us.
FREE, simple, effective healing tools for PTSD that anyone can use successfully…
“All healing is essentially the release from fear. ”
“Fear and sickness are identical.”
– Mary Baker Eddy
Some say that healing is difficult, or even impossible. Nothing could be further from the truth. Healing is simple, easy and fun. Healing is always certain… when you know how. The simple tools listed below, can help you reclaim your mental clarity, physical health, happiness, and peace of mind.
Anyone can learn and use the tools below. Children love them and benefit from them. If you want help, get stuck or feel a problem is too big to tackle alone, use the Contact tab and fill out the form. We will get back with you as soon as we can.
You need not master every method. Find the ones that appeal to you and use them. I always go for the simplest, most direct route to release.
We recommend the methods below because of their simplicity, efficiency and efficacy They have been tried and tested. They work! Some of them provide almost immediate relief.
We also recommend them because the price is right — they are free — unless you opt to buy a product, such as a book or CD, take a class or attend an event. We do not profit financially from any of these products, but we have used them all and appreciate them all:
- Emergency measures for PTSD
- Lester Levenson, The Release Technique and The Sedona Method
- Re-evaluation Co-counseling (RC)
- Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) – tapping
- Byron Katie “The Work” – 4 simple questions
- Focusing from Eugene Gendlin
- Mood (Cognitive) Therapy
- Healing ABC 123
Other helpful posts are
- Love & Fear,
- No words, just a handle
- You are Only as Sick as Your Secrets
- Your spiritual practice – coming soon!
Tell your friends, especially vets suffering from PTSD about these helpful techniques. Tell them about this blog. We understand fear and know how to release it.
We support you to release the fear that is causing you distress. Contact us for coaching.
We wish you a pain-free body, mind and spirit. Thank you for your kind and generous support!
Food & Behavior – A Natural Connection
“No illness which can be treated by diet
should be treated in any other manner.”
I love the book, Food & Behavior – A Natural Connection by Barbara Reed Stitt. It is so sane. The quality of food one ate used to be considered irrelevant. If you had a full stomach, you were supposed to be ok. But it has been proven that people who eat manufactured foods (or who don’t eat at all) cannot think clearly, do not feel good, and they behave in ways that are not healthy for themselves and society, while people who are fed high quality foods think clearly, are healthy, feel good and behave accordingly.
In the videos below, you can see how essential good nutrition is in schools. The happy results of a healthy diet are increased alertness, improved behavior, better scholarship, reduced antisocial behavior, vandalism, fights, dropouts and suicides. School budgets benefit too!
“We’ve got to stop using our most precious commodity – our kids – to make extra money.”
Emotional Freedom Technique – EFT
This video is an introduction to Emotional Freedom Technique. EFT seemed pretty silly to me when I first heard about it… but I grew into it. Once I understood how it worked, I was sold. Continue reading Emotional Freedom Technique – EFT