How could anyone ever tell you,
you were anything less than beautiful?
How could anyone ever tell you,
you were less than whole?…
These wise words are from A Course In Miracles, Manual for Teachers…
In order to judge anything rightly, one would have to be fully aware of an inconceivably wide range of things; past, present and to come. One would have to recognise in advance all the effects of his judgments on everyone and everything involved in them in any way. And one would have to be certain there is no distortion in his perception, so that his judgment would be wholly fair to everyone on whom it rests now and in the future. Who is in a position to do this? Who except in grandiose fantasies would claim this for himself?
Remember how many times you thought you knew all the “facts” you needed for judgment, and how wrong you were? Is there anyone who has not had this experience? Would you know how many times you merely thought you were right, without ever realising you were wrong? Why would you choose such an arbitrary basis for decision-making? Wisdom is not judgement; it is the relinquishment of judgment. Make then but one more judgement. It is this: There is Someone with you Whose judgement is perfect. He does know all the facts; past, present and to come. He does know all the effects of His judgement on everyone and everything involved in any way. And He is wholly fair to everyone, for there is no distortion in His perception.
Therefore lay judgement down, not with regret but with a sigh of gratitude. Now are you free of a burden so great that you could merely stagger and fall down beneath it. And it was all illusion. Nothing more. Now can the teacher of God rise up unburdened, and walk lightly on. Yet it is not only this that is his benefit. His sense of care is gone, for he has none. He has given it away, along with judgment. He gave himself to Him Whose judgement he has chosen now to trust, instead of his own. Now he makes no mistakes. His Guide is sure. And where he came to judge, he comes to bless. Where now he laughs, he used to come to weep.
It is not difficult to relinquish judgment. But it is difficult indeed to try to keep it. The teacher of God lays it down happily the instant he recognises its cost. All of the ugliness he sees about him is its outcome. All of the pain he looks upon is its result. All of the loneliness and sense of loss; of passing time and growing hopelessness; of sickening despair and fear of death; all these have come of it. And now he knows that these things need not be. Not one is true. For he has given up their cause, and they, which never were but the effects of his mistaken choice, have fallen from him. Teacher of God, this step will bring you peace. Can it be difficult to want but this?
Don’t do anything that
you don’t really want to do.
Keep yourself in a place of feeling good.
Reach for the thought that feels better —
and watch what happens.
According to Abraham-Hicks, it is in the place of “feeling good” where grace occurs. A Course In Miracles would say that we have only two emotions: love and fear — and that love would be the place of “feeling good” and fear would be feeling less than love, anything less than comfortable.
“Pain is inevitable but suffering is optional.”
To have a human body means you will encounter pain — you will stub your toe or bump your head or experience any number of things that distract you from feeling good. But to dwell on the pain and remain in the pain, to bring yourself back to the pain over and over again in your mind is abuse, self-abuse. And it is obvious that we all want to feel good.
The ultimate in mental gymnastics is that masochists are masochistic because they claim they feel good when they hurt — “It hurts so good.” Not really. They are hoping for a breakthrough, a release, a transcendence from pain into love.
So now we can decide — coming back to the quote at the top of this post — to not do those things we don’t want to do or to not feel the feelings we don’t like to feel. Knowing we have an option, we may become determined to learn to release, let go, feel good in any circumstance. We learn to surf the waves of emotion, to walk on water, so to speak.
Imagine the implication for our world. Nobody would be following in the footsteps of Job… yet everyone would be helpful, because that is the nature of love. The world as we know it would change in a twinkling.
The importance of reclaiming the feeling that feels good jives with everything I’ve learned and have personally experienced. A Course In Miracles calls it love or forgiveness or releasing fear, Dr. Hew Len of ho’oponopono calls it cleaning. He makes it clear that cleaning is an ongoing activity. Mary Baker Eddy says, “God is Love… God is the work of eternity, and demands absolute consecration of thought, energy, and desire.” Our real job, our real work, is to reclaim our fundamental nature, which is pure, unconditional love.
Observing the judgmental voice between the ears, clearing, releasing, letting it go… getting back to “zero” or “neutral” or “feeling good”… that is our work and that is our fate, because since only love truly exists forever, our return to it is inevitable. Knowledge is the “know how” of how to go directly to the love that we are.
*From the workshop in Boston, MA on Sunday, October 10th, 1999 #563. This quote and much more at Abraham-Hicks Publications
I was depressed from an early age. As a child, I always wanted to be dead. I know now that it was probably after my clitoridectomy. I was bereft. Life didn’t seem worth living. I went to the kitchen to get a knife to cut out my heart, but I was too small to reach the sharp knives – I didn’t even know where they were kept.
When I went back to my bed that night, I heard a voice say, “What makes you think it would be any different if you were to die?” I had to admit I had no guarantee. But I saw the implication was that I would have to live through those early childhood years again – no way! – and so I have stayed. My teen years and early twenties were no better. But after that, each year my heart has grown more full and rich and happy. I have no external possessions to brag about, but peace of mind and joy are my priceless treasures.
Depression is not irrational. It is a diagnosis that is like that drawer in the kitchen where you put everything you don’t know what to do with. Depression is an accumulation of legitimate, but unreleased fears, angers and sorrows. Our society does not allow grieving and does not offer anything much better than “you are born, life is for suffering, technology advances, and then you die.”. Religion often makes life on earth sound like a prison sentence, a valley of tears, after which – if you are perfect – you get to go to “heaven” and experience something that might or might not be all that much better than what you have known on earth… but there are no guarantees on any level.
“In the midst of winter, I found there was, within me, an invincible summer… no matter how hard the world pushes against me, within me, there’s something stronger – something better, pushing right back.” ― Albert Camus
Another way to say that is, “The Kingdom of Heaven is within you.” It is! And it can be known NOW. But only one thing can exist in one place at one time, so as long as we hold on to negative feelings from the past, we do not feel that beauty that already exists in our own hearts.
I came to understand that I had something important to do here on planet earth. Until I released all that old baggage, I might just come back over and over again – no way! And so I began to do my work and began to let go of all that old and ugly stuff.
We are fortunate in this age to have lots of help – from people and healing systems like Jed Diamond, Byron Katie’s “The Work”, Gary Craig’s “EFT – Emotional Freedom Technique”, Hale Dwoskin’s “The Sedona Method”, and many others. It’s all about healing – letting go of fear/anger/sorrow. It’s why we’re here and why “stuff happens” – so that we feel the old stuff and release the past – to “forgive”, which is “for giving ourselves peace of mind, joy and health.” Feelings got stuck when we held our breath in fear. So whatever feelings come up, breathe into them… that’s how we tell ourselves that we’re safe here and now.
See the “Tools” tab, above and release one little thing today, here and now. You will be so glad you did. Then move to another… and let it go…
Until you make the unconscious conscious,
it will direct your life and you will call it fate.
– Carl Jung
All healing is essentially the release from fear.
– A Course In Miracles
Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT), also called “Tapping”, does exactly what it says: it is a simple, easy way to release fear. It is a deceptively simple, yet effective tool for healing the mind, emotions and even the body.
To keep it simple, let’s call everything that is not at ease and peaceful, “fear”. Pain and dis-ease indicate a lack of ease, a lack of peace, and we can often track disease to its origin in fear.
We react to fear by contracting muscles in our body; we fight, flee or freeze. Synonyms for “fear” might include shock, terror, horror, dread, panic, anxiety, anger, rage, fury, sorrow, grief, angst, overwhelm, boredom, loss, frustration, irritability, loneliness, broken heart, longing, desire, jealousy, regret, envy, revenge, or any other feeling that is not peaceful and loving. Fear enters the mind, the body reacts by contracting. After that, if the fear is not released, it remains lodged in the muscles and even the cells of the body.
“Fear” is not our original condition – love is. Look into the eyes of any baby who was gently born and not circumcised and you will see eyes overflowing with unconditional love, aliveness, enthusiasm, and joy. Babies who have not been terrorized by intrusive medical procedures, drugs and scalpels, are relaxed. They can fall to sleep in a moment, no matter where they are or what is going on.
Yet a baby who was poked by sonogram, whose birth was medically induced, who was cut out or pulled out of his mothers, whose umbilical cord lifeline to mother was cut before he had downloaded his full allotment of oxygen and blood, who had monitoring devices attached to his head and body, a baby who was separated from his mother at birth and fed cow’s milk, not breastfed, a baby who was exposed to any number of unnecessary procedures such as blinding lights, heel pricks, injections of toxic chemicals into his pristine bloodstream, a baby who had surgery such as circumcision or open heart surgery… This baby, on the other hand, had a head start in the accumulation of fear. He learned to contract and withdraw, to distrust and expect betrayal.
After birth, fear messages are sent directly and indirectly, intentionally and unintentionally, from family members, friends, school, religion, television, movies, society; we make decisions based on things that happen to us and to others, etc and we carry all this fear forever – on our shoulders, in our stomachs or chests – until and unless we let it all go. We carry unconscious fear in the subconscious and the subconscious is the body. Muscles we tensed up long ago when terrible things happened, still hold the tension. They are the spots where we feel pain, tension, weakness. The good news is, we can let it all go and EFT is a very helpful tool in releasing fear. Letting go of fear is letting go of tension in the body and most disorders, disease, are caused by stored fear, tension.
Emotional Freedom Technique is the most effective way I’ve found to quickly and easily loosen and release uncomfortable bodily sensations from the mind and body – both ancient and current.
EFT is also called “tapping”, and you will be tapping on acupressure points to relax the inner organs that have been holding the “fear” you want to be free of.
Steps for using EFT to release fear:
1) Identify a feeling or attitude that causes you discomfort, a “fear” you want to release. Put it into words. If you cannot find a descriptor for it, just identify it by its location in the body. Examples might be: sense of anxiety, pain in my stomach, tension in my shoulders, anger at my mother.
2) Give it an intensity score. Zero means it does not bother you at all, ten means it is very much present, in your current awareness, and is occupying your mind and giving you pain and discomfort at this very moment. The goal is to use EFT until the intensity is gone and the score moves to zero.
3) Make it into a statement:
Even though I have this
[pain in my stomach],
I deeply and completely love and respect myself.
This statement serves a few purposes:
- Naming the emotion or locating a feeling in the body is an important step in letting it go, for you are no longer unaware of it – you are now conscious of it. You have given the “demon” a name.
- You can only release something that you already “have”. If you are unaware of a feeling, then you do not “have” it; it “has” you. But once you have it, you can release it.
- “Even though” minimizes the importance of the “fear” you have named. It says that this “thing” that has been burdening you for a very long time is now inconsequential and you are ready to let it go.
- To say that you love and respect yourself, even though you have carried this feeling, is a way of saying that you forgive yourself and love yourself enough to live without the burden.
4) The simplest way to perform this “exorcism” on yourself is to repeat the statement in #3, above, and tap 8-10 times on each acupressure point (see diagrams below). Some start by tapping on the side of one hand (karote chop point, in diagram below), using the palm of the other hand, and repeating the statement a few times, adjusting it for accuracy, if necessary. Then, starting at the top of your head, tap each point several times while repeating the statement. Some people shorten the statement after a few repetitions to the ‘complaint’, such as:
Even though I have this [sense of guilt], I deeply and completely love and respect myself…
Even though I have this sorrow, I deeply and completely love and respect myself…
Even though I have this sorrow, I deeply and completely love and respect myself…
this sorrow… this sorrow… this sorrow…” – concluding with,
Even though I have this sorrow, I deeply and completely love and respect myself.
Here are two helpful sheets that you can access at any time from your phone or computer to remind you of how to use EFT:
Trauma happens. Daily. To many. Those of us who have been suddenly exposed to terror, horror and shock, those of us who have lived in it for extended periods of time, all of us suffer at least some degree of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD).
Sufferers of PTSD — even veterans — are not always correctly diagnosed and are even more often not treated. However, those who do receive attention do not always reap sufficient benefit from conventional treatment.
Sometimes it takes a child to say what no adult will — the emperor has no clothes and the medical field has no cure for PTSD. The conventional mental health system offers diagnoses and medications, but the mere labeling and numbing of symptoms does not equate to genuine healing. Terror and horror persist in the hearts and minds of victims and witnesses, both. The good news is,
All healing is essentially the release from fear.
Healing is always certain.
We can do it ourselves. Fact is, we must. No one else can do it for us; they don’t know what we have been through. Here is where we start. Here is where we learn to release the fear that has tied our minds and bodies into knots. Here is where we learn how to let go of fear.
We learn the principles of self-healing. We practice with ourselves and one another. We address one memory, one pain, one tense muscle at a time. Soon we are free of the shudder, the revulsion, the horror, the past. We feel real peace again. We have taken back our lives.
Search on the Internet for videos on “Emotional Freedom Technique” (EFT) or “Tapping” (they’re the same thing, just different names. This simple yet profoundly effective method of releasing fear might come in handy as you are reading, learning, practicing, identifying issues, and releasing them. Get this helpful stress-release tool under your belt and then scour and devour the rest of the healing methods here on this site. Any one of them might be enough to heal all your wounds. But one might “speak to” you more than another. Try them all.
As we release fear, we feel safer; as we feel safer, others will feel safer around us.
“All healing is essentially the release from fear. ”
“Fear and sickness are identical.”
– Mary Baker Eddy
Some say that healing is difficult, or even impossible. Nothing could be further from the truth. Healing is simple, easy and fun. Healing is always certain… when you know how. The simple tools listed below, can help you reclaim your mental clarity, physical health, happiness, and peace of mind.
Anyone can learn and use the tools below. Children love them and benefit from them. If you want help, get stuck or feel a problem is too big to tackle alone, use the Contact tab and fill out the form. We will get back with you as soon as we can.
You need not master every method. Find the ones that appeal to you and use them. I always go for the simplest, most direct route to release.
We recommend the methods below because of their simplicity, efficiency and efficacy They have been tried and tested. They work! Some of them provide almost immediate relief.
We also recommend them because the price is right — they are free — unless you opt to buy a product, such as a book or CD, take a class or attend an event. We do not profit financially from any of these products, but we have used them all and appreciate them all:
- Emergency measures for PTSD
- Lester Levenson, The Release Technique and The Sedona Method
- Re-evaluation Co-counseling (RC)
- Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) – tapping
- Byron Katie “The Work” – 4 simple questions
- Focusing from Eugene Gendlin
- Mood (Cognitive) Therapy
- Healing ABC 123
Other helpful posts are
- Love & Fear,
- No words, just a handle
- You are Only as Sick as Your Secrets
- Your spiritual practice – coming soon!
Tell your friends, especially vets suffering from PTSD about these helpful techniques. Tell them about this blog. We understand fear and know how to release it.
We support you to release the fear that is causing you distress. Contact us for coaching.
We wish you a pain-free body, mind and spirit. Thank you for your kind and generous support!
What do Winnie the Pooh and John the Baptist have in common? (See Footnote 1, below.)
What do the tonsils, appendix and foreskin have in common?
Cutting the tonsils, appendix and foreskin from infants and children was high fashion in the 1950’s and 1960’s (as were hysterectomies for women). If a child had a history of too many sore throats, tonsils and adenoids were removed; if a child had a sore abdomen, the appendix was removed. If the child was born with male genitals, the foreskin was removed – and other parts were also cut from the genitalia of girls. “If in doubt, cut it out.”
Tonsils and appendixes usually were removed because they were considered to be diseased. Sometimes, however, they were removed to “prevent” them from becoming diseased. People figured nature had made careless errors when designing an otherwise amazingly brilliant machine.
One young boy I knew came home with an appendectomy. I asked why. He said his mom had taken him to the emergency room for a tummy ache. “What did you have for lunch?” I asked him. When he began to recount the food he had eaten before his surgery, it was obvious to me that he had suffered from severe gas in his intestines. His lunch with a friend had consisted of several bologna sandwiches, peanut butter and jelly sandwiches – all on white bread – that he had washed down with several glasses of lemonade. Jeez! I’d’ve had a tummy ache too – Wouldn’t you? But the doctor had neglected to ask. He just cut.
Then someone determined that the tonsils and appendix have important immune system functions. So a huge number of children who are now adults lost valuable parts of their bodies due to lack of that important understanding. Deficient in insight and wisdom, many members of the medical profession just cut and cut and cut. Tonsils and appendixes are now removed only in severe medical conditions.
Nature was vindicated. Fashion changed and American doctors no longer routinely performed tonsillectomies and appendectomies; they moved on to hysterectomies and gall bladders. Good riddance! Yet after all those other surgeries came and went, foreskins are still amputated because they are still considered to be nature’s secret little mistake – and are not to be spoken of above a whisper.
In the Victorian age, when puritanical values ruled, people thought it was risqué to show an ankle and pornography was hard to come by. No good American dared to speak of the penis or its foreskin except in hushed tones to a medical doctor. Doctors claimed they had found the solution to masturbation. They then declared that masturbation was the cause of a plethora of diseases. They began a war on male and female genitalia – healthy genitalia.
In 1888, John Harvey Kellogg, M.D., inventor of Kellogg’s Corn Flakes, wrote in his Treatment for Self-Abuse and its Effects:
A remedy [for masturbation] which is almost always successful in small boys is circumcision… the operation should be performed by a surgeon without administering an anesthetic, as the brief pain attending the operation will have a salutary effect upon the mind, especially if it be connected with the idea of punishment, as it may well be in some cases. The soreness which continues for several weeks interrupts the practice [masturbation], and if it had not previously become so firmly fixed, it may be forgotten and not resumed. If any attempt is made to watch the child, he should be so carefully surrounded by vigilance that he cannot possibly transgress without detection. If he is only partially watched, he soon learns to elude observation, and thus the effect is only to make him more cunning in his vice. (See footnote 2.)
In short, “Let’s discourage masturbation/pleasure with pain.” Circumcision has been a cruel and unsuccessful experiment. We now know full well that it didn’t work. One survey shows that men without foreskins masturbate more frequently and participate in more dangerous sexual activities (oral and anal) than those with foreskins. And yet both the good Doctor Kellogg’s cruel circumcision recommendation – and breakfast cereal (specifically designed to reduce libido) – “stuck” in the public’s mind and endure to this day.
After the fear of masturbation became a less compelling reason to cut children’s private parts, the medical industry would still not let go of the practice, as it was so profitable. Since Kellogg’s time, claim after claim, excuse after excuse has contributed to holding the circumcision door open, In the 1970’s nearly every boy in America lost his foreskin. Unfortunately, most trusting American parents are glued to the “circumcision is good for you” sales pitch. They think of circumcision as a surgical panacea for what ails you. In truth, each and every attempt to justify the routine circumcision of infants has been disproved and discarded. Still, they test the waters, blaming every possible physical, mental and emotional aberration on genitals as nature made them.
Doctors continue to circumcise little babies for a few main reasons:
- They are business people who have bills to pay and circumcision is a quick snip, an easy buck – that unfortunately causes a lifetime of sexual dissatisfaction for the adult and his partner.
- They have not yet been educated in the important functions of the foreskin.
- They haven’t yet realized their legal liability. The American Medical Association (AMA) has warned its members to “take the high road of ethics,” but it has not yet warned them of the legal ticking time bomb inherent in this deceptively simple, profitable, profoundly abusive, non-medical procedure.
- They have not listened to their patients (the babies) as they scream, “No!” at the top of their lungs.
- They have not listened to their own hearts as their tiny patients scream, “No!”
Tonsils and appendices were finally determined to have important immune system functions, so they are now usually spared the knife. But foreskins are still routinely removed, even though they are healthy human tissue. Studies by Taylor and Cold reveal that the foreskin provides important immune system functions, as well as the tonsils and appendices. If you can teach an old doctor new tricks, perhaps there’s hope for the survival of future foreskins.
In the meanwhile, parents might want to practice saying, “Thank you, but no thank you,” to all their friends, family members and medical personnel who press for circumcision. And once the foreskin has been saved from the human tissue sales industry, you may also need to explain to doctors and nurses that it’s not ok to retract the foreskin – Let Junior do that for himself, in his own time. Foreskin retraction is dangerous, malpractice and should be pursued as such if the M.D. or nurse manages to do the deed. What is it about these people and babies’ genitals?
1. What do Winnie the Pooh and John the Baptist have in common? They have the same middle name.
2. Kellogg, John Harvey. Plain Facts for old and young: Embracing the natural history and hygiene of organic life. I.F. Senger & Co., Burlington, Iowa, 1891, p.111.
“The sage is never sick because he is sick of being sick.”
~ Tao te Ching
“Haven’t got time for the pain”
~ Carly Simon
Tolerance for pain may be high, but it is not without limit.
Eventually everyone begins to recognize, however dimly,
that there must be a better way.
As this recognition becomes more firmly established,
it becomes a turning point.
This ultimately reawakens spiritual vision,
simultaneously weakening the investment in physical sight.
The alternating investment in the two levels of perception
is usually experienced as conflict,
which can become very acute.
But the outcome is as certain as God.
Is Healing Certain?
Healing is always certain.
~ A Course In Miracles