This video is an introduction to Emotional Freedom Technique. EFT seemed pretty silly to me when I first heard about it… but I grew into it. Once I understood how it worked, I was sold. Continue reading Emotional Freedom Technique – EFT
Words are difficult for some of us, especially those of us who were badly traumatized. So we feel perplexed by words. We don’t know how to express what we feel. Is what we feel “panic” or “anxiety”? Is it “fear” or terror” or “horror” or “dread” or “regret”? We don’t know the exact words to use. But there is a very simple way to get at what we need to get at.
Forget about words and focus on the uncomfortable bodily sensations that comes up for you when you think about the issue. Where in your body are they located? Can you compare them to something you are familiar with? Is what you feel similar to having a heavy weight on your chest? Or is it more like a searing pain in your back? This is everything you need to do the work you came here to do.
The body is the subconscious and all trauma is stored in it. The sensations you feel are what you are here to heal, to release. A tension, a tightness, a contraction, a pain – these are the ‘feelings’ you are looking for.
Once you have a handle on a feeling, a sensation, then perhaps words might come: “it’s kinda like…” An entire story might come. If words don’t come, that’s ok. Just feel the feeling and, knowing you are safe here and now, allow yourself to breathe fully, freely and deeply.
Start today to release tensions now to reclaim your health and happiness. It works!
All healing is essentially the release from fear.
To make our healing work very simple, it helps to think of the light switch on the wall that is either on or off. If we agree to call our inner emotional states by two terms, either love or fear, then our progress will be rapid.
Just as one is never just a “little” pregnant — you are also neither a “little” in love or fear. You are either relaxed and happy and aware of love — or not. You could think of the inner human state simply as, “love on” or “love off” — and we call “love off”, for want of a better term, fear. Continue reading Love & Fear
Sometimes secrets are intentionally kept. On birthdays we don’t want our friends to know what we are giving them because we want them to be surprised.
Sometimes wonderful, velvet memories are kept secret because they are intensely private and personal. We do not care to share what they are because they might be misunderstood and not cherished by others as we cherish them ourselves.
But then there are the prickly or even stabbing secrets that hurt us then and continue to hurt us now. Those secrets are best aired and released. Continue reading You are only as sick as your secrets
by Nicette Jukelevics, author of
Understanding the Dangers of Cesarean Birth:
Making Informed Decisions
For years researchers have largely focused on the technical aspects and “appropriate” rate of cesarean section: the surgical procedure. However, birth by cesarean can have powerful psychological effects on women and their ability to adjust to motherhood.
A woman’s experience of her cesarean birth and her perceptions of the event, are influenced by multiple complex factors: The reason for which the cesarean was performed, her cultural values, her beliefs and anticipations of the birth, possible traumatic events in her life, available social support, and her personal sense of control, are only a few (Cummings, 1988; Cranley, 1983; Marut and Mercer, 1979; Sheppard-McLain1985).
Many women recover fully physically and emotionally from a cesarean birth, others do not. Little attention has been paid to the psychological impact that a surgical birth may have on women’s emotional well being. Their personal experiences have been at times trivialized, misunderstood, or ignored by the medical community.
That birth by cesarean can have an adverse psychological impact on some mothers was already a concern in the early 1980’s as the cesarean rate in the United States was climbing rapidly (Lipson and Tilden, 1980). Anecdotal reports and personal testimonies have helped to increase awareness of the negative psychological repercussions that some women experience following a cesarean birth. (Baptisti-Richards 1988; Madsen, 1994;Pertson and Mehl, 1985; Wainer-Cohen and Estner 1983).
Research suggests that the negative psychosocial effects of cesareans can be significant and far-reaching for some women (Mutryn, 1993). Several reports also indicate that a cesarean birth, especially one that was not anticipated, can put some women at increased risk for depression and post-traumatic stress. Continue reading The emotional scars of Cesarean birth
And remember, dear friends… anything that affects a female who has been circumcised surely will affect a circumcised male as well. Trauma is trauma – no matter the gender. And the worst part of circumcision is not the physical cut, but the psychological repercussions.
Protect your child from adults with knives and he or she will grow up to be far more peaceful, trusting and happy than someone who has been grievously injured unnecessarily due to fashion, superstition or to assuage any other adult fear.
By Amy Norton, Reuters
September 24, 2012
NEW YORK (Reuters Health) – Women who underwent genital cutting as young girls may be at increased risk of physical, sexual or emotional abuse from their husband, a study of women in Mali suggests.
The study, of nearly 7,900 women, found that 22 percent of those with genital mutilation said they’d been physically abused by a husband or male partner. That compared with 12 percent of women who’d never been subjected to the procedure.
It’s estimated that more than 130 million women worldwide have undergone genital mutilation, also known as female “circumcision.” The centuries-old practice, which involves removing part or all of a girl’s clitoris and labia, and sometimes narrowing the vaginal opening, remains a common practice in some countries, mainly in sub-Saharan Africa.
It’s well-known that genital cutting has long-term consequences for women – including sexual dysfunction, childbirth complications, incontinence and psychological disorders.
In the new study, researchers looked at whether there’s a link between genital mutilation and a woman’s odds of suffering abuse from her partner.
In Mali, where the vast majority of women have undergone genital mutilation, the government has taken steps to raise awareness of the consequences of the practice. But genital mutilation has not been outlawed.
The difficulty is that genital cutting is widely seen as an important cultural tradition, rather than a form of abuse.
“If something is entrenched in a culture, it is difficult to change,” said Dr. Hamisu Salihu of the University of South Florida in Tampa, the lead researcher on the new study.
On the other hand, physically abusing your wife – though common in Mali and other African countries – does not have that cultural acceptance, Salihu told Reuters Health…
READ MORE: YAHOO! Health
This was originally written for pediatricians who are represented by www.HealthyChildren.org – with a few additions for this blog post.
I understand that your organization represents:
“…pediatricians committed to the attainment of optimal physical, mental, and social health and well-being for all infants, children, adolescents, and young adults.”
If this is so, then I would respectfully suggest that this organization refrains from recommending foreskin retraction and circumcision. Neither contributes to “the attainment of optimal physical, mental, and social health and well-being for all infants, children, adolescents, and young adults.” In fact, there is quite a bit of evidence that retraction creates a host of iatrogenically induced problems, that can lead to a “need” for circumcision – and circumcision can be detrimental to “the attainment of optimal physical, mental, and social health and well-being for all infants, children, adolescents, and young adults. Plus, an adult retracting a child’s foreskin could rightfully be interpreted as a sexual assault, as can circumcision itself. The child does not know why adults are touching his private parts and cutting on them.
It is highly understandable that the young mind can see circumcision as sexual abuse. The details of the memory might be clouded but the body never forgets. Most circumcised men are reminded something is wrong every time they go to the bathroom or attempt to have sexual relations. They never achieve the point of ecstasy they know they could and should. They know something is wrong, very, very wrong. But their expressed concerns are often scoffed at by trained professionals, who are perhaps themselves circumcised and therefore in denial of their own condition, or embarrassed to address the subject of genitalia.
Let me tell you my story.
When I was a little girl, a little white, Anglo-Saxon, Protestant girl, in Kansas in the 1950s, I was circumcised by a probably well-meaning physician who might have believed that female genital mutilation was conducive “to the attainment of optimal physical, mental, and social health and well-being for all infants, children, adolescents, and young adults.” Genitals were private in those days – nobody talked about them – so I lived in a secret hell for many years, suffering from conditions usually associated with males in our society: night terrors, suicidal ideation, depression, misogyny, anger, rage, and above all, an aversion to all things medical. It is difficult to get a circumcised person into a doctor’s office, even for an annual checkup.
However, there came a time – after age 50 – when I discovered I’d been circumcised. Thankfully, I had a background in and understanding of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and realized that I had been badly traumatized and, as I saw it, betrayed by my mother, for she was the one who had allowed the doctor to cut me. Once I recognized the problem, I was able to do the healing work to release the fear and dread that had followed me, wherever I went, all my life.
Not all who were circumcised realize they were cut and very few get to the point of healing the PTSD they’ve carried from infancy. Many of the aware yet still unhealed are those you see demonstrating at medical conferences with bright red circles at the crotch of their pure white suits.
The “aware that they are circumcised but still unhealed” men – and women – are for the most part angry that they were hurt as children and angry that as adults they do not have the full natural, functional bodies they were born with. It also pains them that even to this day, children are still being subjected to unnecessary cosmetic genital surgery. It pains me too. And I fully understand their grief. Sorrow expressed by the unhealed often looks like anger and rage.
I pray you listen, hear, look, see, and let this message into your hearts. Begin treating birth as the amazing, awe-inspiring wonder that it is, women as human beings worthy of respect, and the children they bear as conscious beings who deserve protection, love, care and “the attainment of optimal physical, mental, and social health and well-being.” – not just slabs of meat.
I am sorry if you too were hurt by circumcision as a child, but the lesson to learn from our own misfortunes is to never treat another as you were treated when you were hurt. To pass on the abuse is a failure to learn the lesson. If you think circumcision is a valid medical procedure, you are among the wounded. A cursory objective investigation would serve to convince the adult in you that circumcision is – quite frankly – medieval torture and has no place in a civilized world.
Patricia Robinett, author
“The Rape of Innocence: Female Genital Mutilation and Circumcision in the USA” (2006)
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